where'd you go.

ah damn i miss you so...

messed up life.

I am a failure. Every shit i do, it dun turn up right. Right from Primary school all the to now. I am just a complete failure, i just can't do it correctly can't i? really. Is my karma that fucked up bad? till the point that whatever things i do will just break down? I suck at shooting these days, i can't seem to find something interesting to shoot. I escaped my bowling all due to my left hand. I left robotics coz i was not that great anyway. I stop gaming coz i was never the top fagger...

I can't write for nuts, so i guess no one is going to read this or my photoblogs.
I can't even date for nuts sake. All i get are rejects and [sorry to say] weird girls.
I jumped from aerospace coz my mind can't take it.
now in DVFX, i ain't doing that well. AND then i mess up. my internship form was not sent through. it was just sitting in the draft box when i thought i saw the mail animation flying away and the window closed on last friday morning. I just totally messed up.

i dunnoe what to do now. I just send another email explaining y i did not send when i thought i did to my course manager. but now I just want to go and sleep in peace and not to wake up. but then all these things plays in my head once i shut my eyes.

really why deserve all these shit. I know i am abit harsh to my parents at times. I know i piss them off. I know i am always late. i know i lie alot. i know i dun pray to any gods. but then is my karma that bad that whatever good i do did not offset it?

i knew the weekend was too peaceful,

welcome to my life.

welcome to the moodless days.

fuck it.

using work to forget about life

with school just started. fine it is soon to be the 4th week. i think i throwing myself deep into work to forget that i have no social life outside school and the folks i know from the cosplay circle.

everything i do got to be related to school, jtc, photog and cosplay. it been a long time since i gone back for robotics and bowling. kinda miss the old days but there are some stuff there i dun want to remember. but well even in my current circles, there are shit that should be flushed down the pipes by now. but they are still there lurking in the toilet bowl.

there is nothing choking it, but it is unable to disappear. anyway wtf with me using the toilet bowl as a methpor... after this 3-4 years, i realise i will not find my Senjōgahara. i can't fall for the normal/hyper/ lians in this foresaken country. i see no interest and well some of them actually make me wonder are sg girls that ahh... what the word? dumbfounded?

ya i like tsunderes, weird, problematic, different,abnomral, oddity type. not easy to find outside the cosplay/anime/creative circles. but in the end i am not the kind of guy they are looking for.

maybe i should just be single like troy chin and realise that educated lian that you love, ain't going to marry you coz you are still a geek, although she is there hanging with u all the time.

LOOKING FOR...

okay if you are interested in acting, i have some no pay jobs for you guys.

1. #1: A docu-drama for Channel U by 360 Productions

They need 10 more cosplayers to be extras in the background as they want to make a scene at a cosplay event.

DATE: FRI, SAT, SUN [6th, 7th, 8th Nov]
PAY: none.
Contact person: vic -> [ thebakasaru@hotmail.com ] or sakurazaki [ 9651 9820]
more info -> http://sgcafe.com/showthread.php?t=66083

#2: A student Short film by Tisch School of the Arts Asia

A short synopsis of the film is that a boy named Ricky who is new in town, made a bad first impression with his next door neighbour only to discover that she not only goes to the same high school as him, but is the president of an anime club in his school too! To save face, Ricky decides to help win the King Con title in a local cosplay competition for the anime club. But there is only one problem: Ricky knows nothing about anime.

They need some cosplayers but this will be an audition first.

Audition Date: SUNDAY [8th Nov]
Audition Location:3 Kay Siang Rd, Singapore 248923
Shoot dates: January 4th to 11th, 2010
PAY: no pay, but food and transport provided.
contact person: togusa [ 9137 6030] or the person in charge ->

[ Catherine, chibiyannie@gmail.com ]
JTC folks please inform me before going for the audition.

#3: Another Student Short film production, called "summer and its rain" by 3rd year FSV students from FMS.

They need 1 female to dress up in either GL/punk/goth/sweet loli/cosplay with weird colour hair and hair do. No lines, only 2 scenes of playing with a rubix cube.

PRODUCTION DATE: next TUE afternoon [10th NOV] for about 1 to 2hrs shoot
PAY: $20 and transport can be arrange to location
Location: Some where near NAFA.
Togusa will be following the cosplayer to location.
contact person: togusa [9137 6030]
CONTACT ME ASAP IF YOU ARE INTEREST!!!!!!!!!!

look...i am addicted...

i am addicted to pr0n.... like real... i am addicted to twitter lah.

My first tweet was on feb 19th

in 4 mths, i was 541.

now.. 9 months later i have tweeted 2056 times [ at the time of this post]. I have twitter on my dock, my X1. on firefox. I linked it to my facebook that why alot of folks are complaining that i tweet too much that they remove me from their status update list. * but really status updates are still better than quiz and mafia wars requests*

I know i tweet too much. It is a habit. i see any FML/LOL/OTL/wtf/wth stuff on the streets and next moment i had tweet it via tweet.sg [you can't sign up with them liao coz idiots complain that it is slow] OR if there is wifi then by pocketwit [ if you have an iphone, there are better softwares].

whatever it is. i am sorry that i tweet too much and PLEASE STOP COMPLAINING... and how bad can it be? it is just a 140 char update. not like i am changing my msn nick every 30mins -.-

school is back

and i am still sleeping at 3am.

and just realised that yui had a haircut and well i still rather her long hair... Now with this short slope bob... she kinda remind me of her...... oh wells...

once again, 1 free day of school!!!

for 4th sem in DVFX, i still have a day off!!!

for my first year i had my monday and friday off and last sem wednesdays off.
This semester it is free mondays again!.

Scriptwriting is on tuesday, previz on wed afternoon and it is going to be a long thursday like every sem, 9am to 12mn of compositing and Organic Modelling and then cosplay club with mcd dinners till last bus.

for the 1st half of the sem, on friday afternoon i took business etiquette and image. wtf module and there should be no paperwork so that = easier life.

then basic french for the 2nd half. with most of my classmates.

if i ever get a movie written about me...

it will awfully look and sound like i copied most of the script and story from 500 days of summer. although i would title mine as 100 days of hell.

well really.

in the past, i kinda still believe in love, but these days, i am not seeing it anymore.

ahh ignore this old emo outburst...

My results for this sem

i was expecting worse. but YAY it was AWESOME

Camera and lighting effects.: A : the 1st production had issues with the cam, 2nd production the shoot was okay, but i aced the quizes. was expecting a B instead of a A

Hardware Modelling & animation : B+ : this was the maya module that was ranting and ranting and ranting was hoping for an A for this but i think due to my late submission i got mark down to a B+

IE: pass : dun need to talk about this time wasting module.

Motion Graphics & broadcast design: A : this was kinda a surprise, like for cam effects i was expecting to be mark down due to the group projects.

Post Production: B : i am not cut out to be an editor. hhahaha. I think i got a B coz i was late for 1 quiz and mess up another one....

Production Planning: B :.... i was hoping for A coz of the time i send putting into the production portfolio. but well B due to attendance and late?

in the end up this sem GPA is 3.5294. HIGHEST i ever get after 2.5 years in NP. but my total GPA went up by 0.2 to 2.9444. ya now i am 0.0556 away from 3 -.-

5 days to my results??

i just got reminded that this sem's results will be out on friday,  3pm.

ahhhhhhhhhh shit...

cause really i think i scored worse this sem and there goes my chances of going to NTU...

anyways... nothing much happened during this holiday, i emailed another studio to check if they are hiring but still no reply. So while the jobs are not coming in i am filling my self with production stills and backlogs and trying to improve my after effects. other than that. i have no life. hhahaa