messed up life.

I am a failure. Every shit i do, it dun turn up right. Right from Primary school all the to now. I am just a complete failure, i just can't do it correctly can't i? really. Is my karma that fucked up bad? till the point that whatever things i do will just break down? I suck at shooting these days, i can't seem to find something interesting to shoot. I escaped my bowling all due to my left hand. I left robotics coz i was not that great anyway. I stop gaming coz i was never the top fagger...

I can't write for nuts, so i guess no one is going to read this or my photoblogs.
I can't even date for nuts sake. All i get are rejects and [sorry to say] weird girls.
I jumped from aerospace coz my mind can't take it.
now in DVFX, i ain't doing that well. AND then i mess up. my internship form was not sent through. it was just sitting in the draft box when i thought i saw the mail animation flying away and the window closed on last friday morning. I just totally messed up.

i dunnoe what to do now. I just send another email explaining y i did not send when i thought i did to my course manager. but now I just want to go and sleep in peace and not to wake up. but then all these things plays in my head once i shut my eyes.

really why deserve all these shit. I know i am abit harsh to my parents at times. I know i piss them off. I know i am always late. i know i lie alot. i know i dun pray to any gods. but then is my karma that bad that whatever good i do did not offset it?

i knew the weekend was too peaceful,

welcome to my life.

welcome to the moodless days.

fuck it.

wants my holidays...

School will be ending in 3 weeks and this 3 weeks will be the hell of my life for now.

Within this 3 weeks,

i have to complete these

Hardware modeling: HAW-206 tank [10% done] and a Warehouse [0%] [due in 17 days]
Post Production: "tofu film fest" trailer [80% done] [ due in 8 days]
Production Planning: Production Portfolio of "LATE" [15% done] [due in 11 days]
Camera fx and MOgraph: Pre-production: 90%, Production 1 @ pre, Production 2 @ Pre. [filming =2 days] Post production = 10 days[ due in 15 days]ing

The HAW-206 is just time consuming.
the trailer, well i just need to add some more titles and fix audio then it is done...
for Production Portfolio, i am rushing it this week as i will not be able to start production of the camera fx and mograph works will friday. once the production part is over my group will only have 10 days to maya, after effects and put every thing together... To the industry, that is okay. to us students... it is Clusterfuck...

well i just want my holidays and to earn some cash for now... i want to get my D90 and some lens and my driver licenses before school starts on 19th oct...

PS: blogger is mess up... dunnoe y i dun see my normal interface -.-