One year on....

1 year ago, at this timing I left the land of the rising sun on a very wet night. Even thought I felt Tokyo was not that long ago, time really went by quite fast for the past 1 year. ( okay it felt damn long especially when I am in Tekong, twice some more)  Right after that long 12 days in Tokyo. I had 48hours to prep myself for the longest waste of my life. National service. Not that I am against it but I felt that I can put my life into a better use than me training my not so physically fit body.

So during the past year many things had changed:
 I had got into a relationship,
then went to get injured in Tekong.
 Kena out of course from Tekong,
got horribly frustrated,
then gotten out of  the relationship.
Became even more horribly frustrated with myself and super emotional.
 Went back to Tekong again.
Shoulder weaken even more.
Became quite of a hermit.
Stop being interesting.
Watching more drama than animes
Realised my Life may end up worse than Ted.
Lost my creative touch
Rotting on 9gag
My SLR died, D300s is kinda rotting away. LC-A+ filled with a film that only managed to move 3 frames a week.
Getting really emotional over small things.
And diablo 3 maybe the only thing I do when I get home.

Feeling abit sian.

I just found out my Minolta XD7 is dying, and i think i will have to part with this vintage series soon.

 I am going to try to save up and get a Leica M6 soon.

for now my films will be mostly LOMO + my Nikon 35Ti

POC LOH!!!

FINALLY!. i am not a recruit any more!.

Been to 2 BMT and back, best thing both in Rocky Hill, far from the main camp on tekong. But what ever it is, i can grow my hair again!... now to wait for ORD!

Messy room

Even when i am stuck in camp for the weekdays. My room is still as messy as ever.

This week will be my final [and it better be the last] week in tekong. YES it is FINALLY nearly over. not National Service but at least after this I will not be stuck on a island far from civilization where the only connection out is my handphone(which is dying). Back to usual blogging and tweet spams after Good Friday.

Now how should i spend my good friday weekend, anyone wants any Photoshoots?

Chinese new year shopping...

it is the time of year, after that time of year. it is Chinese new year. the time where i need to clean my room, buy new clothes and visit relatives that i kinda only see once a year. and whoa, 1 year pass so fast. 1 year ago i was 20....now i am 21 turning 22. and looking back, i still have not done any thing outstanding... i am still a nobody... oh damn life..

See the full gallery on Posterous

I just want to fly away

I always have this issue when i am thrown into a new environment. Being out of my comfort zone is kinda tiring for me as i tend to use way too much energy pretending that i am okay while i am not.
i has been in this state for multiple times during this short coming to 22 years.

things NEED to be done in 2012.

it is not a new year resolution list. it is more like I HAVE to complete this list of things in 2012.

1. GET MY DRIVING LICENSE [after tekong that is]: took my BTT when i was 18, and my FTT lapses last year... so ya...

2. Start making a list of photoshoot concepts with reference pics, location references

3. upgrade my NAS... i need 2 more 2TB

4. clear my backlog.

5. redo my portfolio

6. make a new demo reel.

7. clear my room. have too many shit.

8. saving money for new FX lens.

9. save more cash to upgrade to a FX cam in 2013

10. save some more cash in hopes to go to japan after NS.

11. need to stop being down.

12. get happy.

13. be positive.

14. Get attached...

chances that 11 to 14 won't happen this year i guess. i tried that in last year. it worked for awhile.but guess what i am back to square one like every year. i need to move on and find someone/ something else. whatever it is 2012 you better be better. i can't take another 2011 or 2010 or 2007...

it is 2012... now for a look back at 2011!

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first of all it is 2012 so it is a new year... i hope it will be a happy and better than the last year, but well we all know it is just getting worse. *oh spoilt your new year, what do you expect from me being moodless?* anyway my annual look back to the year before...

 

2011: vedict: better than 2010, but more fucked up and alot of shit.

Film, Life and work.

I been shooting, just been shooting on films so it takes awhile to come back. more works can be found on my photoblog. (but well like anyone read this anyways. it is all linked to facebook and ppl just like the pics on my facebook instead of coming to the source to read what i typed here.)

life wise, i am coping. other than falling sick every other  weeks, which is weird coz when i had an unhealth lifestyle back in poly i only fell ill during holidays, now i am in NS, i am injuried, down with flu, had a ear infection thanks to stray hairs in my ear (how did it get there anyways), not to mention hospitalized for a stomach flu that was felt like an appendicitis.....

and work wise, i get phone calls/ sms every now and then for shoots and job offers, i really want to take them, but really i need alot of heads up timing to prep for them... i can't just book leave on the day before, i can't escape NS, but damn i really hate wasting my life in here.

well i am just a clerk, i am nobody and my photos are nothing compared to the works i see, but i will work my way up and hope they get somewhere in this god forsaken planet coz I will not died being a nobody, i need to be a somebody.

* now y are my meds not making me sleep?*

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I do not know what I am doing.

Okay, at the moment, with army shitting my head.

I kinda just hit a mental roadblock.

i just had 2 plans for working life.
a) go be a visual effects artist, work your way up and out of  SG to UK/JP/US....
or
b) if i cannot survive being a vfx artist, be a photographer... beg to be sign on to ST or something...

but now i am at a point of:
1. my skill set is dropping way too fast.
2. my photos are getting SHITTY...
3. i think my film photos will be nice, coz i dun get to see them anything bigger than 36mmX24mm...
4. I can't even maya or do simple AE stuff at the speed i used to do them ( that is just 9months ago)
5. i am wasting my time at home watching how i met your mother, instead of editing backlogs.
6. I DUN EVEN CARRY MY D300s with me anymore.
7. I only can think of going on holidays, escaping this country... ( on a $400 month allowance ya right)
8. my right arm is hurting again...

i now can't really see what i am going to do after NS... which is weird when I had plan out everything before i entered the army.
whatever it is, this better be like my burnt out/ dry seasons of my old photography days, when i have weeks of dry periods, which was HORRIBLE...

Too much usagi drop

or more like too much emo/slice of life anime/manga/comics/book/dramas/movies/tv shows. but really you got to agree with me that rin is BLOODY cute, that makes you want to have kids... okay not now but like to have a kid like her (if possible)

*finally i have a coloured ver of this shot* (screen cap from the anime, all rights goes to production I.G.)

but that is not the point of this post [yap every photo on this blog is like not really related to the topic, but really i dun have much pics in my database that i can really use]

okay but really i just need to think out loud at least once here, (if u read this, i think we really need to hang out more together, cause really, i starting to feel the strain)

I am really those kind of guys that find most shounen mangas/anime are not my thing, (god knows why are they still so popular with some people of my age group) I really follow seinen and josei stuff. (yes i read shoujo mangas if they are nice).   

take example, this season of anime, i only followed USAGI DROP ( am i turning to a lolicon or i just want to have kids.....) and Kami-sama  no memo-chou ( okay alice is a loli, but the story is good and she is a NEET). the other stuff? i dun seem to be interested at all. * i rather download season 1 to 6 of "How I Met Your Mother" than to watch... mhh tiger and bunny..* i will rather read Oyasumi Pun Pun over one piece or even FMA.*

Just look at the manga collection i have at home. Welcome to the NHK, GENSHIKEN, TRINITY BLOOD, PEACEMAKER, alot of asano inio stuff. Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service, MPD, March Comes in Like a Lion, hourou musume, ya it is a gloomy lot of manga. but i like it, i grounds me abit and realised, life is not that sucky...

okay who am i kidding, an average joe in a manga can score a girl, and i think i can do the same... think i can hold on to a relationship thanks to a manga, whose characters get together since first year of uni... who am i kidding.

Where we go from here?

I really dunnoe, but i hope it is for a better future.

I been thinking too much these days in camp, and me thinking too much doesn't goes well with the rest of my body and self... usually i will use work to curb this issue, but serving the nation lets you have too much time to think, so ya save me from this place. i need more work to overwork myself.

In pain.

Okay no photos coz I am blogging from tekong. It been awhile since I last posted anything here, well a lot of shit/ pain happened but well I kinda expected this to happened to me during this 2 years.

-Skip this post if u dun want to read my bitching. And ah new Photos will be up this weekend -

Well for those that have not been followin me on twitter ( which amazingly I am able to update it) I been diagnosied with a rotoary cuff injury (supraspinatus tendiopathy) on my right shoulder and It seems I torn a tendon. And the fucked up thing, it was due to push up...

Not to mention, I am here in tekong (BMT) for 8 weeks and I injuried myself like in the 2nd week. And from what it seems I will have to recourse BMT in 6 months or so after this tear heal.

Is it fair?, nope, come on I was obviously an unfit soldier thrown into PES B and gotten heat cramps in the first 2 weeks and torn a tendon. What else I need to get for them to realise that there is something wrong with me?

So basically for the last 6 weeks and for the coming 40 plus days I am excused doing nearly everything and wasting my life in tekong. And before this I only went to A&E like once for my stomach infection...

really I never went to the hospital so many times in a month.
Never had 3 different injections in a span of 3 days...
Had like 2 times the number of x-rays that I had my entire life. Or even an ultra sound scan to find that I have a hole in my shoulder...
Oh ya not to mention the amount of painkillers I am on.

Thank goodness, SAF is paying every cent or not I really wonder why the hell am I risking my life for this army. Not that I hate singapore it is just that I am not built to be a soldier. I can help in other ways but not in runnin up and down hills as a riflemen.

Well I better stop bitching and go back filling in my injury report forms which is made so people like me can't filled it in or so SAF will not need to do a single pay out to "minor" cases like mine, they got to be more worried of the SCT that had a 40mm exploded or the other SCT that died in the west.

Who really cares of the recruits at tekong? Well not the MO, I meant look at the flu case...

Going back home

If i considered from the time i went to tokyo, till now. For the past 5 weeks i only slept in my own bed or to be more accurate, was at home for 6 nights... 6 freaking nights... out of 35 days...

I am starting to miss my freedom really much,
i am starting to hate the fact that i have to go back to camp tomorrow evening,
I am already hating some of the guys in my platoon,
not to mention,
I am hating the fact that i am kind of injured thanks to national service.

The doctors says i have a rotator cuff injury on my right shoulder... i dun think it will heal thanks to NS... but this is really a Fuck you to the MO at CMPB, i am really not meant to be a PES B recruit and see what happens. I did nothing wrong except to follow trainings and yet i am injured... Oh wells.

if the specialist say it is really more screwed up than what it is now... i really have nothing to say.

I need some jack....

Okay right jack lives in odaiba....

it is nearly 1 month since tokyo and i am getting used to tekong.... on my next book out will be exactly 1 month since i lost my hair and my pink IC...
Training is not that killer yet but wel nearly after every run i tend to have cramps or heat cramps and my right shoulder is killing me with PAIN...
other than that tekong is quite "fun"

i do miss some stuff like surfing the net, sleeping till 12noon or sleeping at 5am. i miss shooting photos... i miss my mac... i really MISSING alot of anime and manga that i have to batch torrent them EVERY friday night... what else i miss???

cosfest X.1 [day 1]

no photos yet unless u want unwash films....

so it must be "fate" that my 1st book out is JUST nice for cosfest and i am booking in tonight, cosplay-wise this time round.... there are some nice ones but i am lazy to shoot.

oh wells 11 hours more of freedom left....

botak, fried and tired

(this pic is unrelated to this post)
ps ( i need to upload tokyo pics!)

Well you should realised that the last 17-18 days i was not online, or updating my blogs or even best i have not FLOOD your facebook wall with my twitter updates... well coz i needed to conserve battery AND sadly my camp still do not have the wifi network up yet....

I will be at cosfest this weekend so try to spot me if you can. so good night!. *sleeps*

Leaving on a jet plane

All my bags are packed I’m ready to go
I’m standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say good-bye
But the dawn is breaking, it’s early morn’
The taxi’s waiting, he’s blowing his horn
Already I’m so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There’s so many times I’ve let you down
So many times I’ve played around
I tell you now, they don’t mean a thing
Every place I go I’ll think of you
Every song I sing I sing for you
When I come back I’ll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I’ll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I don’t have to leave alone
About the times that I won’t have to say

Oh kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

I’m leaving on a jet plane
I don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
I’m leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane

-----------

Okay i am not leaving on a jet plane. i am taking a ferry to tekong for well at least a 4 month "resort" trip, where i am paid to run around it. and sweat and learn to shoot.

it is called NS LOL.

anyway i dun think i can blog that much for now. but well i have my not so smart phone so i can be contacted by phone(8pm-11pm), sms, email, twitter IF i got enough battery lol.

so ya i am no longer a civilian in well 7 hours. 

About Tokyo

I am here for a week, tokyo is awesome really. only issue it is sucking me dry VERY FAST.

lets do a short recap:

25/5[W]: SG->TOKYO, reach ueno at 8pm, standing sushi dinner. SLEEP.
[T]: met up with @gk_reiko and headed to kawagoe and went shopping at ikebukuro's otome road...
[F]: overslept and went to shinjuku to get films, nakano boardway. and went to the lomography gallery in shibuya to get my LC-A+ [which now have clocked more rolls of film than my fisheye ] and met eldred for dinner and an awesome pub/coffee shop.
[S]: overslept. went to Good smile cafe and queue for 2hrs and 45mins in the rain, just to eat QB up.. then on to akihabara and MOGRA!!!!!!
[S]: left MORGA at 5.30am, managed to give TEDDYLOID my namecard and went back to the inn at 5am. and it is BRIGHT. woke up at 3pm, went to harajuku in the rain. Ended up eatting dinner at Freshness burger on cat street. that day was horrible.
[M]: headed north for the tochigi, got the wrong station. so save time headed to the Lucky star shrine at Washinomiya, was closed by the time i reached.  then try 2nd round to find the right station that was used in 5 cm per second. it was EPIC FAIL DAY.
[T]: weather was awesome, went to explore UENO park, UENO zoo and tokyo national museum. then to the tokyo station that area and then to AKB again to get the instaxs.
[W]: woke up early to realise that tsukiji market is close on wed. Meet up/ pick up. @icecreamtrkben and @funkyforest at UENO station and then went film hunting at Shinjuku then to Shimokitazawa and cat street/harajuku for some 2nd hand clothes shopping. Got an shirt, I look normal here, but i think if i wear it back home, folks will stare...
[T]: woke up early but late to go to tsukiji market with  @icecreamtrkben and @funkyforest. spent ¥3500 on breakfast lol we spilt from there, i went wondering at tsukishima area shooting alot of pics from the manga called "March comes in like a lion". then to round 3 of hunting down the 5 cm per second station. WHICH I DID!. AWESOME PLACE PLEASE. then to Shibuya for dinner and Tower Records.

Plans for the the final 3 days?

[F]:Odaiba area and maybe to shibamata if the weather is good., if it is bad, then to tokyo Sea life park!
[S]: Asakusa area and a flea market some where in town.
[S]: a cosplay event in TFT, then rush back to my INN and then to haneda for my 00:30 flight back to SG.

plans in singapore?:
[M]: arrive 6.30am, unpack, go out , evening with the dvfx gang, drink!
[T]: ppl who need to GET THINGS FROM ME, GET ON THIS DAY. Evening: dinner with parents.
[W]: i will be botak.
[T]: no internet.
[F]: oh the tekong
[S]: PTP
[S]: from heaven to hell u know
[M]: still on tekong
[T]: get the drill lah

danboard welcomes me to tokyo

okay i finally brought it after seeing it for so many years.

i am all okay in tokyo. meet ups anyone? or anyone want to go to #mogra on saturday night? [THIS SATURDAY]