this cny... haiz... not in mood... was too moodless through the whole thing... haiz... visiting lost its interest. i lost my stomach for CNY food. no interest in yu sheng. even if u put some other seafood other than salmon or the usual fish...
i was quite the irratated during the whole 2 days, maybe due to my parents in the last 4 weeks. some know that i was abit too emo during the late nights... [ past 12am] i dun have much memories on what we talked, but i know i was quite emo and that is all.
well it is true i felt left out... i felt like an outsider... i felt like a loner... i felt like i have no one to turn to... no one to talk to... no one that wants to be talk to... no one that dun mind to be there... no one as i am a guy... if i was a girl it would be a different case... some guyz will be there to help them out their problem,but no girl seem to want to help a guy out... it is odd for a guy to call a guy and ask help out with problems.... haiz my wonderful life. I would just love to die.
one thing i know that is causing most of the problems in my life is due to my parents... they are too old fashion... they think too much for me... plan too much for me...they like to rule over me... the people i meet... they want to meet them. [ which i dun allow them coz once they met them, i will have no chance to meet them again as my parents will monitor my movements]
i dun have much friends and they want to make my list shorter. [ please note i will never allow them to meet kage and hel as my parents thinks that they are bad influence, when they are not... ]... they even dun seem to like u liao turtle... i have no idea why... they think that james is a bad hat... when he is not... if they know the rest of u guyz... i dunnoe what they think about u people...
they are freaky. and u may think i have freedom... but it is not there... i dun have any private space... they check my laptop... my msn list... my drawer... my bank statements... my phone... my cam... i ask if i can turn my study room in to my bed room... they said no right into my face... they dun want me to sleep when i want... they want to control what i do... when i sleep. when i wake up. what i eat. who i meet. what i watch. and what i do on my blog soon...
i hate this flushing life. i just want to end it... i just want to disappear.
anyone want to join me? 05:10. 4 stories should kill right. if no one knows? but suicide will void the insurance... my family need the money... the stupid geh meh is not helping... with the GST going up...
i est that my parents cpf cannot even bring my bro to uni... ending my life for him seem a good idea but how should i do it?
i dunnoe... maybe i will just cross the road
without looking
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