painkillers...

if any of u do not know, I hate friday the 13th[ mainly it is the week leading up to it...]

haiz it is also the 13th week that i am on painkillers since.In total, i have tried 4 different types...

lets see, the first one.it messed up my life as it was too strong and gives me memories blank periods which make me unable to remember a crap and i think i was unstable during those periods, but i will never know as she will not tell me..
*doctor did not tell me about those effects till i ask him if it will affect my memories during class*

that made him change my meds to the second type... a smaller dose [ in a single pill] but i was told to take 2 if my head hurts like mad. no memory loss [ i think] but it made me unstable [emotionally and in the mental state], plus what happened after that last friday the 13th...

after hearing the complains from my mom,

he switch it to a even smaller dose that temp kill the pain [ 2 -4 hrs]
that one was anti-depression too i guess as i was more stable and can think straight with it. without it i will go high... [nuts and etc]

but i have to stop that one as last thursday, after seeing the dentist due to a toothache, the dentist gave me a damn powerful painkiller for my headache and tooth pain. [ but the side effect was that it cause a major pain right after taking then i dun feel a thing.] it is also another anti-depression i think...

well the reason i am on this new one is that it looks like i have a wisdom tooth problem.if i am not able to pay for the op for it, i will have to go on to long term painkillers that may damage my health, body and liver and nerves....

haiz mess up life... well i should be used to this... been taking drugs from the age of 4. [ maybe earlier cause i only have rough memories from that age only]... haiz... weaking. that is what i am...

i am on polaramine for long term since the 1st time taking it..
danzen is another long term on off drug.
panado and all the fever meds are another on off drugs...
i still got some anti-depression meds from sec 1 to 3...
dun need to say about painkillers
still got others...

afew for my breathing problems if it happen again... [4, 8, 12 years old that time, so the next was to be at 16 years old, but it did not, so it may happen this year]

afew for my crazy ulcer outbreaks that make me look like a crazy person.... [ 2, 10, 16, 17 but treated early so the outbreak did not happened [about 16 weeks ago] ]

still got 2 for my skin treatment... [ but it seems i can stop eatting them]...

mhh... and my mom blame this on herself cause i was fed with homos when i was in her... [which where to make sure i survive through the 9 mths]

i think soon i need some sleeping pills... cannot sleep well...