1 year ago, at this timing I left the land of the rising sun on a very wet night. Even thought I felt Tokyo was not that long ago, time really went by quite fast for the past 1 year. ( okay it felt damn long especially when I am in Tekong, twice some more) Right after that long 12 days in Tokyo. I had 48hours to prep myself for the longest waste of my life. National service. Not that I am against it but I felt that I can put my life into a better use than me training my not so physically fit body.
So during the past year many things had changed:
I had got into a relationship,
then went to get injured in Tekong.
Kena out of course from Tekong,
got horribly frustrated,
then gotten out of the relationship.
Became even more horribly frustrated with myself and super emotional.
Went back to Tekong again.
Shoulder weaken even more.
Became quite of a hermit.
Stop being interesting.
Watching more drama than animes
Realised my Life may end up worse than Ted.
Lost my creative touch
Rotting on 9gag
My SLR died, D300s is kinda rotting away. LC-A+ filled with a film that only managed to move 3 frames a week.
Getting really emotional over small things.
And diablo 3 maybe the only thing I do when I get home. So did this trip 1 year ago change me? Yes, I think it did prepare me to be more independent, survive on a limited sum on cash. A slow detox from the Internet. And maybe I can do a long distance relationship. But National service changed all of that. I end up being my old timid pre-DVFX time.
A life that I really hated and knew I can't returned to that... in a all guys filled with egos and testosterone and being verbally bullied and taunted in Tekong for being weak and abit timid/quiet. I am really not used to that world once again. 1 year ago, I was in a world of freedom, "free speech", open minded, knowledgeable and creative minds.... The sudden change and being in the same bunk with Normal people whose topics mostly revolve around girls and sex...
That Really kinda pissed me off. Is that the only things in their simple minds? There was a presidential election going on and all they can say was screw PAP and continue talking about going to hit on girls on the weekends. And plus most of the conversations were in Chinese, which obviously fail in being one. So once again my lack of conversations in the group made me an outcast and an easy target to bully and to blame. It is not that I have no interest in talking about girls or sex. It was just that I was attached then and really missing my girl, At first it was okay, when we were able to chat and message everyday to each other. Then came the start of the university term, which I understand if one gets too busy on school work but one does not simply forget one's phone 4 days and replies like nothing happened. This lack of communication, I guess let to our breakup. Which I know she felt bad about it, but I think it is my fault too for demanding too much, knowing how an art student is when on projects. And asking her out just before I disappear to tokyo and Tekong was really a wrong time, but to me, it was my only shot I had. Then all the people that I could rely on during that frustrating 3 months before we called it quits end up disappearing when I was single again... Everyone has move on with life from poly but I guess I am the only one going back to who I was... Avoiding as much as I can in this fucked up world. But really I want to stop being beaten down and get back to the messed up country and world, but I just need her to be there for me. I really still miss her when I should have gotten over it by now.
So during the past year many things had changed:
I had got into a relationship,
then went to get injured in Tekong.
Kena out of course from Tekong,
got horribly frustrated,
then gotten out of the relationship.
Became even more horribly frustrated with myself and super emotional.
Went back to Tekong again.
Shoulder weaken even more.
Became quite of a hermit.
Stop being interesting.
Watching more drama than animes
Realised my Life may end up worse than Ted.
Lost my creative touch
Rotting on 9gag
My SLR died, D300s is kinda rotting away. LC-A+ filled with a film that only managed to move 3 frames a week.
Getting really emotional over small things.
And diablo 3 maybe the only thing I do when I get home. So did this trip 1 year ago change me? Yes, I think it did prepare me to be more independent, survive on a limited sum on cash. A slow detox from the Internet. And maybe I can do a long distance relationship. But National service changed all of that. I end up being my old timid pre-DVFX time.
A life that I really hated and knew I can't returned to that... in a all guys filled with egos and testosterone and being verbally bullied and taunted in Tekong for being weak and abit timid/quiet. I am really not used to that world once again. 1 year ago, I was in a world of freedom, "free speech", open minded, knowledgeable and creative minds.... The sudden change and being in the same bunk with Normal people whose topics mostly revolve around girls and sex...
That Really kinda pissed me off. Is that the only things in their simple minds? There was a presidential election going on and all they can say was screw PAP and continue talking about going to hit on girls on the weekends. And plus most of the conversations were in Chinese, which obviously fail in being one. So once again my lack of conversations in the group made me an outcast and an easy target to bully and to blame. It is not that I have no interest in talking about girls or sex. It was just that I was attached then and really missing my girl, At first it was okay, when we were able to chat and message everyday to each other. Then came the start of the university term, which I understand if one gets too busy on school work but one does not simply forget one's phone 4 days and replies like nothing happened. This lack of communication, I guess let to our breakup. Which I know she felt bad about it, but I think it is my fault too for demanding too much, knowing how an art student is when on projects. And asking her out just before I disappear to tokyo and Tekong was really a wrong time, but to me, it was my only shot I had. Then all the people that I could rely on during that frustrating 3 months before we called it quits end up disappearing when I was single again... Everyone has move on with life from poly but I guess I am the only one going back to who I was... Avoiding as much as I can in this fucked up world. But really I want to stop being beaten down and get back to the messed up country and world, but I just need her to be there for me. I really still miss her when I should have gotten over it by now.
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