I do not know what I am doing.

Okay, at the moment, with army shitting my head.

I kinda just hit a mental roadblock.

i just had 2 plans for working life.
a) go be a visual effects artist, work your way up and out of  SG to UK/JP/US....
or
b) if i cannot survive being a vfx artist, be a photographer... beg to be sign on to ST or something...

but now i am at a point of:
1. my skill set is dropping way too fast.
2. my photos are getting SHITTY...
3. i think my film photos will be nice, coz i dun get to see them anything bigger than 36mmX24mm...
4. I can't even maya or do simple AE stuff at the speed i used to do them ( that is just 9months ago)
5. i am wasting my time at home watching how i met your mother, instead of editing backlogs.
6. I DUN EVEN CARRY MY D300s with me anymore.
7. I only can think of going on holidays, escaping this country... ( on a $400 month allowance ya right)
8. my right arm is hurting again...

i now can't really see what i am going to do after NS... which is weird when I had plan out everything before i entered the army.
whatever it is, this better be like my burnt out/ dry seasons of my old photography days, when i have weeks of dry periods, which was HORRIBLE...