damn....

my projects are all done and submitted and here i am. wondering too much again...

did i mess up my 2nd sem? i am not talking about results as i know what i going to get...

i am wondering about my class once again... year after year in this education system, i wonder when will it be the last time i will not get outcasted...

in primary school it was due to my aunt who was the disciple mistress for 2 years... some of them knew it. then it was the case of i did not fit in as from the top few classes i fell between the cracks to the last few...

in secondary school, i was bullied too much by idiots and "frens"... the only place i felt in school was the robotics lab, where all the "different" people met...

1st year in poly, Aerospace, i was totally i can say different from all that was there... i kinda stood out like a sore thumb then when i thought i will be normal in dvfx... i still sticking out different from the rest... i dunnoe y, but am i that different to them? am i that weird coz i am an otaku? coz i read manga, listen to japanese music, have a different taste in arts and food.

Do i need to conform?

wait is it worth trying to conform? I am who i am coz i did not want to be what i was supposed to be. I tried to be different to fit in, but i guess i am too different that i cannot fit in once again....

--------------------
Looking at you now, remember how you gave me shit,
And I made lemonade out of it
Pass me the sugar and things still won't be right!
Look what you've built, now are you proud of your deceitful quilt
Well I won't cover myself in it, the warmth has just been choking me!

Thanks! Thanks for nothing
I've taken all you got and started walking,
Not broken, still standing,
Been ripped apart, but now I'm demanding
No more shit, this is it
I am leaving for myself and no one else
So long, been swell, see you in hell!

What would you say? Can't hear
you buried in the lies that you've laid.
I'm breaking myself away from that chain, to bad you don't understand why
I'm walking away, and if you're lucky then someday I may
Possibly forgive you for all of it.
But not today, BUT NOT TODAY!

Lemonade by Tsunami Bomb